One of the most important conversations I have with couples is how to decrease stress on their wedding day. It’s a marathon: it’s long, there’s a blur of people surrounding you, you’re on your feet for hours, and water and shade always seem so far away. You deserve to have an amazing wedding day. You’ve planned for months, and last thing you want is to have a stress and problem filled day. No one wants that. So here are a few ways to make the day better for you and your soon-to-be spouse:
When I sit down with a couple, I always ask if they have a wedding planner. It’s possibly the best investment you can make for your wedding. Besides helping with all of the preparation, they handle any issues that arise on the day of. And believe me, something always goes wrong. From a caterer not having water available for guests, to the rental company not delivering tables, chairs, and flatware until 90 minutes before the wedding. True stories.
Imagine having to handle those situations on your own, or having your mom, maid of honor having to deal with it. A wedding planner takes so much of the work off of you and your family who should be enjoying the day. It’s a big party where you are the guests of honor, not the hosts.
Get a Manager
One of the best things I’ve seen is a bride and groom designate a manager for each of themselves. Maybe the maid of honor and best man, or two other reliable people. They take your phone, so you’re not having to take dozens of calls, answer questions, or deal with family drama. They also are your timekeeper, getting you to the right place on time. Even valet–I’ve seen couples’ overnight bags almost not make it to the getaway car, if not for an aware wedding party member. Your manager might be the planner’s assistants, as part of your wedding planning package. In any case, this team keeps your day going and allows you to not have to remember all of the little, albeit important details.
Ditch the Drama
I remember reading a therapist who said that weddings and funerals bring out the worst in families. It’s a highly emotional event. Family members who normally stay miles away from each other are sitting at the same table. If you know that there is a potential for problems, insulate yourself. It’s your day. If you don’t want to talk to Aunt T because she’s always negative, avoid her. Don’t accept phone calls from certain people. If a parent or in-law is not going to be cooperative, minimize their involvement. Please don’t let someone else ruin your day; set boundaries and enjoy this precious time.
Plan for Something to Go Wrong
And be OK with it. I promise, every wedding I’ve shot has had some mishap. Most are small. Most of the time the guests never know. Sometimes the bride and groom aren’t aware of it. The minister messes up the ceremony order, someone forget the wedding rings back at the hotel, you get grass stains on your dress. It’s all happened. And guess what–every couple still got married. Breathe, it’s going to be alright.
Set Aside Time to Spend with Your Mate
My wife and I started our wedding day with breakfast together and massages. That was the best way to relax before everything got underway. Believe me, it was the fastest day of my life. Talk to your planner and photographer about making sure you two get a little time together. A first look is a great way to have some one-on-one time and slow down the wedding day. And it’s always OK to say you need a break and have a few moments with each other.
P.S. Are you worried about how stressful your wedding day is going to be? Was there something that really helped you on your wedding day? I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to drop me line or call me.